Vista 2007 Special Edition

Monday


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Microsoft has taken another step toward dominating every aspect of our lifes with the introduction of Contraceptive VISTA Home Basic edition, a suite of applications designed for users who engage in sex. Microsoft has been a pioneer in peer-to-peer connectivity and plug and play. It believes these technologies will give it substantial leverage in penetrating the copulation enhancement market.

The product addresses two important user concerns: the need for virus protection and the need for a firewall to ensure the non-propagation of life.

The Contraceptive suite consists of three products: Condomizer, DeFetus 1.0 (from Sementec), and AIDScan 2.1, A free copy of Intercourse Explorer 7.0 is bundled in the package. The suite also comes in two expanded versions.

Contraceptive Vista Professional is the Client / Server edition, for professionals in the sexual services sector.

Contraceptive Vista Home Basic Edition is a package for start-ups, aimed at the housewife and gigolo niches and bloggers.

While Contraceptive does not address non-traditional copulatory channels, future plug-ins are planned for next year. They will be known as BackDoor, AuraLee, TitElation, and JerkOff.

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