Women English Verses Men English

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS

40-ish - 49
Adventurous - Slept with everyone
Athletic - No t*ts
Average looking - Ugly
Beautiful - Pathological liar
Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure - On medication
Feminist - Fat
Free spirit - Junkie
Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person
Fun - Annoying
New Age - Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded - Desperate
Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate - Sloppy drunk
Professional - Bitch
Voluptuous - Very Fat
Large frame - Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate - Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH

1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

Men and women are very distinct creatures. While men have a tendency to be straightforward, women are often not so simple. When trying to understand what she really means, you are sometimes better off reading between the lines.

But don't get disheartened just yet. The following test with help you bridge the gap between what she means and what she says.






MEN'S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have s*x?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have s*x with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have s*x with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have s*x with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have s*x with you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay

And finally.....

A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside

 

  1. Anonymous Anonymous said,

    1:23 AM

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  2. Blogger OMG said,

    7:31 AM

    Thanks for your comment
    I already updated your link

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