Regina Brett: 45 Lessons Life Taught Me

This is a great column by an inspiring woman. She's a breast cancer survivor who wrote about her treatment. Her daughter underwent a prophylactic bilateral because she, like her mother, has the BRCA gene. Brett wrote a great series for the Plain Dealer last year called "The Inheritance: my family's legacy of breast cancer" about her daughter's experience. It can be found at the Plain Dealer's website
The age thing is kinda weird. If you go to her website you'll see that she is in her fifties not 90.

Written By Regina Brett, "90" years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio
"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written."
My odometer rolled over to "90" in August, so here is the column once more:


1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."



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Women's Skirted Swimsuits getting popular

Women’s skirted swimsuits can give you the advantage of having extra coverage right where you want it the most. Whether you're spending time pool side or at the beach, they always look fashionable.
Women's skirted swimsuits come in a wide variety of colors, styles and patterns, all of which enable the wearer to convey her own personal fashion sense.
Skirts and dresses have become such an important part of a woman's wardrobe because they are easy. So they are going to keep going back to it. I think the same for skirted bottoms.

Erica Lyons, 33, from New York City, was lying out on the sand in South Beach recently in an olive green skirted suit with sequins attached to it. She said she bought it two seasons ago because "it looked different and fun."
She said she was trying to convince herself that it hides body flaws.
"It kind of covers a little bit more. Any body type can wear it," she said.

Caitriona Regan, 28, from Galway, Ireland, said she had never worn one, but would. "It sounds cute 'cause then you could just walk off the beach without putting on a sarong."
It's not for everyone, though.
"I want to get a tan and limit the amount of fabric I have on," said Tracy Smith, 31, from Toronto, Canada. "I think if you've got something to hide, then go for it."



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Same sex marriage ban upheld by California's Supreme Court

California's supreme court backed a ban on gay marriage on Tuesday, upholding a voter-approved proposition defining marriage as between a man and a woman, but said the marriages last year of 18,000 same-sex couples were still legal.The argument continued in the streets where gay marriage backers vowed to continue the fight at the ballot box in 2010.
The court, which last year unexpectedly opened the door to same-sex unions in the most populous U.S. state, bowed to the majority of California voters who passed the ban known as
Proposition 8 last November.

"Shame on California," said Nicky Hilton via Twitter following the March 26 Supreme Court decision to back Proposition 8.

Seriously California, what the f***? I can't believe the ban was upheld...we have to keep fighting!!! Gay marriage will be passed!!! - Meghan McCain via Twitter, May 26.

"I'm sure you heard the prop 8 news. One day when everyone is treated with full equality, we'll look back and realize how wrong this was"said Ellen Degeneres on her Twitter site May 26.

"If marriage were between two men society could not go on. It's not fear, it's just the way it should be"

The argument continued in San Francisco streets, where gay marriage backers vowed to continue the fight at the ballot box in 2010.
"We will not be moved. Repeal Prop 8!" shouted seated protesters who blocked off an intersection in a show of civil disobedience. Police began arresting them one by one. DeWitt Hoard, 65, a black man who legally married another man in California last year, compared the gay rights fight to one for racial equality. "I've been on this road for a while," he said at the courthouse. "Now we can't marry? Yes we will, it will happen."
Social conservatives, too, vowed to fight. "If marriage were between two men society could not go on. It's not fear, it's just the way it should be," said college student Mike Choban, 18.

"Twittering too much is not cool but equality is. California get it together!" said Ashlee Simpson Wentz via Twitter following the Supreme Court decision.

Drew Barrymore addressed the crowd tearfully at the May 26 march in Los Angeles, saying "I will fight with you!"

Kelly Osbourne said on her Twitter blog: "I'm disgusted with California for it's decision to uphold proposition 8! It just makes me sick to think that people cant have equal rights!"

The court said the roughly 18,000 marriages that took place in the state between June and November last year remained valid since the ban was not retroactive. That leaves the state of 37 million people with a tiny group of married same-sex couples that cannot grow.

Gay rights advocates in the case had argued that a simple majority cannot be allowed to strip rights from a minority without undermining civil rights, but Proposition 8 supporters said the populist state constitution gave the majority the right to make fundamental changes through direct vote.

Chief Justice Ronald George characterized the gay rights advocates' position as "it is just too easy to amend the Constitution through the initiative process" and then responded that, like it or not, that was the law. "It is not a proper function of this court to curtail that process," he wrote.

Moreover, Proposition 8 did not end broad protections for same-sex couples to form families, he concluded.

Demi Moore said on her Twitter site: "I am deeply saddened by CA courts decision over Prop8."

Christina Applegate said on her Twitter page: "Going to sleep now. So sad that California is backwards. Lame. So Lame. But thank you again to the peeps that push.."

"So happy to see my friends comin out to support, I got my face temp tatted 'no h8'," twittered Emmy Rossum from the rally.

Before the California court's move, a flurry of pro-gay marriage rulings and votes in Iowa and New England this year had appeared to reverse a trend toward banning them in the United States.

Forty-two U.S. states explicitly prohibit same-sex marriage, including 29 with constitutional amendments, according to Human Rights Campaign, a gay rights advocacy group. Gay couples can get married in Massachusetts, Connecticut and Iowa, and several states provide for same-sex unions that grant many of the same rights as marriage.
Tuesday's ruling was unlikely to be the last move in what is seen as a pivotal state in U.S. culture wars.

In Los Angeles, gay advocates said they would try to change the state constitution again -- to affirm gay marriage -- in a vote as early as November 2010.

"Because no one has the right to deny another their life, even though they disagree with it, because everyone has the right to live the life they so desire if it doesn't harm another and because discrimination has no place in America, my vote will be for equality and against Proposition 8," said Brad Pitt in 2008.

"YOu and your gay peeps just keep at it..African American president didn't come over night.the battle will end shortly.confident," said Kirstie Alley via Twitter.

"I think [Prop 8] is discrimination," Christina Aguilera told MTV News in 2008.


Gay rights advocates on the courthouse steps in San Francisco began shouting "Shame on you" on Tuesday as soon as the decision was made public.

Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger asked for peaceful and lawful protests in a statement. He predicted same-sex marriage would eventually prevail in California.

Tony Perkins, president of the conservative Family Research Council, predicted continued success for his group, which has prevailed against gay marriage in every state where the question has been put to a popular vote.

"This is not an issue that is going to go away," he said.

The California court on Tuesday did not back away from its sweeping decision last year, which held that same-sex couples had fundamental constitutional rights and deserved special legal protections as a minority class. Proposition 8 was put to voters as a result of that court decision.
"Proposition 8 reasonably must be interpreted in a limited fashion as eliminating only the right of same-sex couples to equal access to the designation of marriage, and as not otherwise affecting the constitutional right of those couples to establish an officially recognized family relationship," Chief Justice George wrote.

Because of the limited scope of the measure, he concluded, the constitution could be amended by a simple majority vote rather than requiring a more complex form of changing the constitution called a revision.

George, a Republican who wrote last year's opinion in support of same-sex marriage, distanced himself from voters' views. "Our task in the present proceeding is not to determine whether the provision at issue is wise or sound," he wrote in the opinion released on Tuesday.



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The happily unmarried couples

More than 5 million unmarried couples cohabit in the U.S., nearly eight times the number in 1970, and a record-breaking 40% of babies born in 2007 had

Celebrities, gay-marriage bans and fear of divorce are helping fuel the rise in unwedded bliss.

unmarried parents (that's up 25% from 2002). Sure, there are plenty of baby-daddies in the Levi Johnston vein, i.e., young and accidental. But nonmarital births have increased the most among women ages 25 to 39, doubling since 1980, thanks in part to a small but growing demographic a sociologist has dubbed committed unmarrieds (CUs). These are the happily unwed — think Brad and Angelina, Oprah and Stedman, Goldie and Kurt — whose commitment to their partners is as strong as their stance against marriage.

Raymond McCauley, 43, a biotech engineer in Mountain View, Calif., who has twin 2-year-olds with his partner of five years, Kristina Hathaway.

Celebrities, gay-marriage bans and fear of divorce are helping fuel the rise in unwedded bliss. "We love each other far, far too much to ever actually get married," says Raymond McCauley, 43, a biotech engineer in Mountain View, Calif., who has twin 2-year-olds with his partner of five years, Kristina Hathaway. His opposition to marriage is political, in solidarity with gays who can't legally wed in most states, and personal — he and his partner both got divorced in their 20s, an experience that has led McCauley to liken marriage to food poisoning: "You don't want to eat that thing again, even if you know it's perfectly fine this time."

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie

As Hollywood's most talked about couple, "Brangelina" draw their fair share of attention. But despite six kids (three adopted, three biological) and four very public years together, the couple has yet to tie the knot. In 2006, Pitt said that he would only consider marriage "when everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able," but also added in 2008 that the couple would marry if they "feel it's important to (their) kids."

Gene Simmons and Shannon Tweed

The 24-year relationship between KISS rocker Gene Simmons and actress and model Shannon Tweed can best be summarized by the title of the debut episode of their reality show: "Happily Unmarried." Scheduled to start its fourth season this summer, the show, Gene Simmons Family Jewels, kicked off its first year with Tweed surprising Simmons with an ambush wedding, complete with a real rabbi (just in case). "The idea is to be happily unmarried, not miserable, married," remarked a less-than-thrilled Simmons. "What is it about marriage and women?"

Oprah Winfrey and Stedman Graham

If there's truth to the saying that "behind every great man is a great woman," what does that say about Stedman Graham, the romantic partner of the world's most powerful and influential woman, Oprah Winfrey? The two have been together for more than 20 years and were even engaged to wed in 1992, but no ceremony took place. According to Oprah, her fans should return their wedding gifts. "The truth of the matter is, had we gotten married we wouldn't be together now, because in no way is this a traditional relationship."

Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon

Kevin Costner gets the girl in the fan-favorite baseball flick, Bull Durham, but in a case of life not imitating art, it was supporting actor Tim Robbins who walked away with leading actress Susan Sarandon. The two have been together in the 21 years since, but still aren't hearing wedding bells. "When you are not married, I think it is not as easy to take each other for granted," said Sarandon. "When you say 'till death do us part,' you don't have to reaffirm your love for each other as often."

Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn

Coming out of a failed marriage, Kurt Russell connected with Goldie Hawn on the set of their 1984 film Swing Shift. One child and 26 years later, they know that if it's not broken, why fix it? "We have done just perfectly without marrying," said Hawn. "I already feel devoted and isn't that what marriage is supposed to do? So as long as my emotional state is in a state of devotion, honesty, caring and loving, then we're fine."

Stuart Townsend and Charlize Theron

While Charlize Theron has refused to wed until the legalization of gay marriage in the U.S., that doesn't stop her 8-year partner Stuart Townsend from regarding the couple as hitched. "I'm married," Townsend said. "I didn't do a church wedding or anything, but we're married. We're husband and wife."

Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts

Both children of divorce, actors Liev Schrieber and Naomi Watts aren't rushing into matrimony. Despite a four-year relationship, two kids and plenty of wedding rumors, the couple has no plans to tie the knot. "Maybe one day we'll just wake up and go, 'Hey, let's do this.' And maybe not," said Watts. "He and I have a family. We're very much together. We just don't have that certificate, and that's OK with both of us."

Sam Shepard and Jessica Lange

With two kids and a 27-year relationship, Oscar-winning actress Jessica Lange and playwright/actor Sam Shepard have been together longer than many married couples. Both performers were recovering from failed marriages when they met on the set of the 1982 film Frances, and neither was eager to rush back into a commitment. "We talk about it from time to time," she says. "But we've never felt the necessity. Paco was my only official marriage. Sam and I have a marriage of the spirit."

Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis

Celebrity couples find a variety of reasons for avoiding the walk down the aisle; Johnny Depp is straightforward about his. "It would be a shame to ruin her last name! It's so perfect — Vanessa Paradis. So beautiful. It would be such a drag to stick her with Paradis-Depp. It's like a flat note." But after 11 years and two children together, Depp hasn't ruled out matrimony entirely. "If she ever said: 'Hey, let's get hitched,' I would do it in a second. We'll do it if the kids want us to, or maybe when the kids are old enough to enjoy it with us."



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Celebrity Beauty Secrets: How to look young and beautiful?

How to look young and beautiful? Each has a secret to tell

Talk about a high-maintenance beauty regimen. There is no limit to how far Victoria Beckham will go to look good. Beckham revealed some of her beauty secrets to U.K.'s Sun, saying "I put really thick foot lotion on with socks before I go to sleep. I also use thick hand cream with gloves at the same time." Her husband, soccer player David Beckham, is perplexed by his wife's nightly ritual. "David thinks I'm loony, because I get into bed with gloves and socks on," Beckham said.

Can't finish that glass of red wine? Actress Teri Hatcher suggests you pour it into your bathtub  not down the sink. Hatcher uses the antioxidant properties in wine to keep her skin glowing. "When you're alone you open a bottle of wine and then it's not really good after four or five days. This makeup chemist that I know was talking about all the good properties in wine -- antioxidants and stuff, exfoliating qualities, and she said, `Never throw it out, dump it in your bath,'" Hatcher said, according to "The Black Book of Hollywood Secrets."

Although she is not pregnant, actress Gwyneth Paltrow takes prenatal vitamins as part of her beauty regimen. Paltrow told Harper's Bazaar magazine that the pills are the secret behind her healthy hair. "It's vitamins. Take New Chapter Organics' Perfect Prenatal. It doesn't matter if you are pregnant, I swear to God. I have double-processed blond hair, and it's so long and not damaged. Those vitamins, they are the trick!"

Catherine Zeta-Jones revealed some of her at-home beauty secrets to Interview magazine in January 2009. "I rub a mixture of honey and salt all over my body to moisturize and exfoliate. You wash it off and your skin is gorgeous." Her remedy for her shiny dark locks? "I do condition my hair with honey and beer. I smell like the bottom of a beer barrel for days afterward but it's very good for the hair."

Actress Demi Moore revealed one secret to her youthful appearance on the David Letterman show: leech therapy. While promoting her latest film, "Flawless," Moore told the late-night talk show host that the treatment, which she recently underwent in Austria, detoxifies her blood because the leeches release a blood-thinning enzyme as they bite. The fresh-faced 46-year-old described in detail the unusual cleansing technique, in which she placed the leech on her belly button and watched it "swell up and get fatter and fatter." She continued, "then when it's super drunk on your blood it just kind of rolls over like it is stumbling out of the bar."

Forget collagen injections -- and reach for some peppermint. Singer Mariah Carey dabs peppermint on her lips to make them look plump.

Kim Kardashian has a few beauty bets that always ensure that she looks and feels great. "The key to making your own lashes look superlong is to apply different mascaras and take your time," Kardashian told Cosmopolitan magazine. When asked what beauty tip changed her life, she replied, "using makeup wipes to take off my makeup. Best invention ever!"

Although they have the money for just about any beauty treatment, many Hollywood stars rely on simple ingredients to look good. Actress Julia Roberts soaks her hands in olive oil to soften the skin and condition the nails.

Caffeine doesn't just provide the wakeup call that many stars need to keep going, it also provides benefits for the skin. Actress Eva Longoria uses coffee to exfoliate. Coffee is rich in antioxidants, has firming properties and known to minimize cellulite.

Supermodel Cindy Crawford's skin looks ageless, and the reason is simple. Crawford carries a spray bottle filled with a mixture of mineral water and whole milk to spray on her face several times throughout the day. The lactic acid in milk is a known skin softener.



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Singaporean women conquer Everest.

SINGAPORE’S first women Everest team reached the peak of the world’s tallest mountain in Nepal early on Wednesday morning, said a spokesman for SingTel, sponsor of the climbers’ satellite phones. Ms Lee Li Hui, 27, Ms Esther Tan, 26, and Ms Jane Lee, 25 arrived at 3.45am, 3.54am and 4.43am on Wednesday Nepal time respectively, making them the first Singaporean women to conquer Everest.

It took courage, determination and excellent leadership and teamwork to scale the world's highest peak.
The team has once again demonstrated what Singaporeans can do against all odds when they set their minds to it.

Armed with SingTel’s Iridium satellite phones and broadband access to smses and e-mails, the Singapore women Everest team is able to call home and keep in touch with their families, thousands of metres above sea level. The first three climbers who made it to the top of the world early on Wednesday, called home immediately when they reached the summit.

The second team, which consists of Ms Joanne Su, 39, Ms Sim Yihui, 27, and Ms Lee Peh Gee, 32, is currently on its way and plans to summit on Friday. The women began their ascent on May 8.

Minister for Community Development, Youth and Sports Vivian Balakrishnan, congratulating the team’s conquest, said: ‘They have once again demonstrated what our people can do against all odds when we set our minds to it.’ Singapore adventurer Khoo Swee Chiow, 45, who has conquered Mount Everest twice before, was thrilled when he heard the news.

‘Singapore will be proud! It has been quite long since I last climbed Everest, so it’s about time that women are up there! This is a difficult endeavour so my heartfelt congratulations goes out to them,’ he told on Wednsday morning. Mr Khoo reached the world’s tallest peak in 1998 and once more in 2006.

The team has in fact contacted him through e-mail before their ascent to ask him questions about scaling the world’s tallest mountain. Mr Khoo said that although he is happy for the team, the task is not over until they return to base camp, as the climbers will still face difficulties and dangers descending the mountain. Some of the challenges they would have faced are the cold, altitude sickness, a lack of oxygen, fatigue, dehydration and hunger, explained Mr Khoo.

He added: "It is one of the hardest climbs…your body’s abilities are really stretched."



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Out of this world fashion!

What motivate such a beautiful lady to create such a fashion?
Is she an alien or woman from Mar? Well this is simply fashion in the near future.



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Smart Memory Bra

Designer Suzana Gorisek from Slovenia’s Lisca lingerie company said: “As a woman’s body changes, so the size of the bra changes.

The next time you want a man to know that you desire him - just let your “smart memory bra” do the talking.
A brassiere that lifts the bust when a woman is aroused has been unveiled at a lingerie exhibition in Paris.

The “smart memory bras” have heat-sensitive foam which pushes up boobs as sexual attraction causes body temperature to rise, reports the Sun.

As the body cools down, the foam relaxes and the bust appears normal again. Inventors at the Slovenia-based Lisca lingerie firm stumbled on the concept when developing bras that adapt to changing weather conditions.

Designer Suzana Gorisek said: “As the body changes, so does the bra.” The revolutionary lingerie will hit British stores in summer for around £25 each. A spokesman for Lisca said: “It’s healthier than an ordinary bra because it will always provide the perfect fit.”



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